Thursday, December 8, 2011

Don't Settle

I was standing in the check out line at the Dollarama last week and became witness to a disturbing scene. A young girl was at the check out with her boyfriend and infant son. As she was placing her items on the counter her boyfriend was berating her for the amount she was purchasing. She kept trying to placate him in a calm manner but he was becoming increasingly agitated and his voice grew louder and louder.

 The girl smiled and looked uncomfortable as she could see  the commotion he was causing. At one point he grabbed the small stuffed gingerbread man doll she was buying and said that they didn't need it. This was the only time the girl's true feelings could be seen. Her eyes welled up with tears as she told him that it was the baby's Christmas present. I watched as the young family left the store with the boyfriend speaking roughly to her all the way to their vehicle. 

My heart was broken for this young mother and her child. Why did she feel that she deserved a boyfriend such as that? Why had she chosen such a man as the father to her child? I don't think she set out to find an abusive boyfriend but she settled. Many people have the fear of being alone so they settle instead of waiting for the right one. Sometimes its loneliness that draws two unlikely people together and at other times its poor self esteem that causes someone to settle for less than their ideal mate. Either way it can be disastrous to those involved, and especially hard for the children the union produces.

A couple of days after the Dollarama incident I saw this posted on a friend's Facebook page and I thought of how much of a contrast it was to what I had witnessed.


The Bible is very clear about how men and women are to treat each other. Once we know this we are less apt to just settle for someone with a smooth way about them who will later abuse us. Once we know who we are in Christ we are less likely to feel that we deserve the abuse. We need to educate our children on what traits to look for in a mate as well as how to be the mate God wants them to be. 

If you have been in one bad relationship after another, please don't settle. Hold to God's standards and He will bless you with a great person to share your life with.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Romans 12:10

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of anotherlove as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 1 Peter 3:8

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

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