You're probably wondering why on earth this blog is going to be about Matthew's ear. Well, you see Matthew had to have surgery on his ear lobe this week because he had developed a tumor inside his lobe which kept on growing and causing him pain. The surgeon had to split the ear lobe, remove the tumor and stitch him back up. He can't get his ear wet until the stitches dissolve and he can't lay on that side. It throbs and hurts him. He can't work any drive through shifts at McDonalds until it is healed so he is losing money. And to top it all off..... this is all my fault!
Let's go back to when this all started. When Matthew was twelve years old he wanted to have his ear pierced and I said no. He reminded me that our friend, Terry, an RCMP officer had his ear pierced and I said no. He said that it's only an ear and what's the big deal and every other argument that a twelve year old can come up with and I still said no. He cried, he said I was unfair, he said he would get it done when he grew up, etc, etc, etc. And I still said no.
We would have been fine if I had just kept saying no. I usually can stick to my guns. What made me give in? Was it the constant asking? Probably not because I usually get more stubborn the more someone asks. The trouble was that we had just gone through the worst eight months of our lives at a church that didn't know how to love a pastor, they thought they were suppose to make his life miserable. (they succeeded).
We were homeless, between churches, so we put everything we owned in storage and moved in with Mom and Dad. Being pastor's kids our kids had witnessed things that most adults never have to witness in a church. We were all beat up. It's easy now to look back on that time and say well it was only 15 months between churches but at the time we were going through it we didn't know how long we would be homeless.
Mom and Dad's house has 2 1/2 bedrooms. Alannah slept in the closet, under the eaves of the house, in our bedroom. The boys slept in bunk beds in the half bedroom in the cold months and moved out to the wood shed in the warmer months. We made do. Our kids had given up so much. They didn't even have a room to call their own anymore and we didn't know how long this would last. Maybe that is why I gave in. I guess when all was said and done, and after everything we had gone through, it was after all only an ear.
It would be great to be able to say that as parents we never made a mistake, but I think that is pretty unrealistic. Every good parent wants to do what is right for their child but even great parents fail from time to time. I have often heard it said that 'no one gives you an instruction manual when you have a kid' and that is true, but we are all given God's Word to go by and it will guide us even on the subject of saying "no". It says in Matthew 5:37 Let your communication be, Yea, yea. All foolish appeals are forbidden. A simple statement is all Christ permits. Whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. Indeed, it makes one doubt the truth of him who was to confirm every assertion by oath.
- People's Bible
Matthew and I both learned an important lesson from his ear piercing. I just feel bad that my moment of weakness as a parent has cost him so much discomfort. We are the parents and they are the children. We are to guide them and love them and discipline them and instruct them so that when they become adults they will have self control, limits and will honor God. If you are a parent and are reading this, let me encourage you to let your yea be yea and your nay be nay and love your children enough to say no sometimes and stick to it.
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