Do Not Hinder

I was recently talking with someone who shared with me that she knows her husband always has her back. He will always protect her and defend her. I'm blessed in that way too. I know that my husband is my greatest champion, my greatest defender and I know that I can always depend on him. That's not to say that he is perfect, nor is her husband, but we know that in the big things in life, they'll be there for us. And I'd like to think they know that to be true of us as well. 

Proverbs 31 says: 10 If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems!11 Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. 12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life.

Her husband can trust her and she will not hinder him but help him all her life. This is what marriage is supposed to be about. Helping our spouse, protecting our spouse, earning and keeping their trust. I love the wording the writer uses here in Proverbs 31. She will RICHLY satisfy his needs. She won't just do the daily chores because they have to be done but she will gladly do them. She will look for ways to make his life easier and more full. This is how we are to treat our spouse. 

But then I look at verse 12 and I see that not only is she to help him all her life but she is NOT to hinder him. How do we hinder our spouse? Do we hold them back when their ideas don't line up with ours? Do we put them down and erode their self confidence? How do we hinder our spouse from being the man/woman God wants them to be? Questions like these require much self evaluation and must be answered individually. 

When our children got married I reminded them of these verses and how they are to help their spouse all the days of their lives, but to be honest, although I encouraged them to help, I never told them not to hinder their spouse.  I am blessed knowing that they search the Scriptures for themselves and the Lord will reveal to them the mysteries of His Word, as He does to me. 

Have you ever seen someone hindering their spouse? I have, and there is an embarrassment that is felt. One particular man, who has grown children of his own, had his mother call his boss (unbeknownst to him) and tell him that he had the flu so he shouldn't ask him to come in to work. Another woman repeatedly struck down and made fun of everything her husband tried to share with others, so that eventually he withdrew and stopped sharing in the conversation. 

Maybe these seem like ridiculous examples but they are factual and actually happened. We have an enemy and that enemy is NOT our spouse. Satan will do everything he can to destroy our marriages because marriage has been ordained of God. We need to do everything we can to build one another up. To defend, protect and help each other. We need to love like we want to be loved. And finally we are to never hinder our spouse from becoming the person God wants them to be.