Tuesday, February 9, 2016


My husband and I have been together for almost 35 yrs. We dated for almost five years and we've been married for almost 31. That's a long time by anybody's standards. And you might think that we no longer have to work at our relationship and that's where you'd be wrong. Please understand, I'm not saying that we argue and fight or anything like that, but we still have to be conscious of the fact that Satan would love to destroy our marriage.

Satan hates the institution of marriage because it's been ordained of God: set up by Him and our enemy would love to destroy anything that God has put in place. So he does whatever he can to discourage people from getting married. Sometimes he twists the idea of marriage and sometimes he gets us to view marriage as something disposable. If he can't get in your marriage through arguing and fighting and strife, he'll change his tactics and attack your marriage with busyness or indifference and apathy. And sometimes he will even attack by putting us in a rut of routine. 

The Bible tells us "above all hold unfailing your love for one another since love covers a multitude of sins." 1Peter 4:8

"She that is married cares how she may please her husband." 1Corinthians 7:34

"Be kindly affectioned to one another... In honor preferring one another." Romans 12:10

These verses are not meant to be gender specific. They're meant for all of us whether male or female. God has given us the tools to have a successful marriage, but it's up to us to use them. What has Satan attacked your marriage with? Has it been arguing or strife, or is he being more suptle and is using routine against you? Remember, he won't give up, even if you've been married a very long time. 

We need to always remember the love and joy we felt when we said our wedding vows and look for ways to express that love in our marriage every day. Husbands need to look for ways to please their wives and the reverse is true as well: wives need to look for ways to please their husbands. 

It's too easy to fall into complacency in the world in which we live. How many times have you gone to a restaurant and seen a couple sitting at a table and both of them will be on their cell phones? I have many times. Our world may have the greatest technology of all history but we have forgotten the art of conversation. So many couples get to a point in their relationships where although they are still living together, sharing the same bed, they no longer have meaningful conversations. They become isolated and their relationship suffers because of it.

Being 'together' is more than just sharing the same space. It's getting to know each other all over again. It's finding out what pleases the other person and doing those things. It's taking a break from technology and spending time together. It's laughing together. Talking with each other. Sharing your dreams. Making eye contact and making that person feel like the most special person in the world... like you did when you were dating.

It's easy to fall into a rut, a routine of doing the same thing over and over. If this is where you find your marriage let me encourage you to shake it up. Do something different. It doesn't have to be wild and crazy but make it something that you are doing together. Maybe it's something as simple as doing a jig saw puzzle together or playing a game of Phase 10 in front of the fire. It might be taking a break from technology one day a week or turning off your phone during mealtimes. Whatever you decide to do make it your goal to cherish this person God has placed in your life and make sure they know it. 

Togetherness is more than just a physical state of being, it's a deeply emotional and spiritual state of being. God bless.

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